1 min readMay 10, 2018
Trump weighs 400 pounds, 300 pounds of which is composed of KFC chicken fat and Micky D’s bacon and burger grease. Fats and grease will congeal when exposed to air; therefore, any bullet holes in Trump will be self-healing. It will be just like the self-healing military tires. As a bonus, the grease slick that Trump leaves on the floor will prevent the shooter from effectively running off.