Member-only story
A Cat Put Me In The Dog House
Satire Goes With Everything
Digital technology innovation is everywhere and one of the leading companies of this tech is Google. Imagine if Google took its language translating devices and software, and develop it to include the language of our pets. This will enable us, humans, to interact with our fur children conversationally which in turn, will enhance our relationship with them. The prospect of “Disneyfying” our relationships with animals sounds like a dream worth turning into reality. What can go wrong? To find out, I decided to utilize Albert Einstein’s technique of a thought experiment. So here I go:
Both of our family cats are now wearing the new Google pet translators for cats collars. The only settings I had to adjust was for the cat’s gender and the collar would output the correct voice. I called the older cat, Linus over to me and he sat in front of me and said: “What do you want?” I was astounded, I actually heard him say this in a natural male voice. I then called out for Joey the other cat and he too came and responded with “I’m here.” “This is going to be great,” I thought. I told them that I was testing out their new collars and that I can now understand them enough to talk with them and vice versa. They look at each other in shock as they must have realized that they understood every word I said. They then took off together toward the back of the…
